Part 2: How Others See You: The Other Person's Perception

Did it ever happen to you, in where you mentally transcended yourself into an out of body experience only to view yourself from the outside as others would?

For most of us, the desire to be liked by others is something we all care about both consciously and unconsciously. Understanding how we are perceived by others helps us in modifying our behaviors, telling our stories, and gaining social acceptance.

In our previous article, we discussed the primary parts of the human brain that influence our snap judgments. Being mindful and self observant of how you look and sound is the following step in influencing other peoples perception of you. In recognizing this, you will be at an advantage to maximize what you are communicating for a great first impression.

But does anyone's opinion even matter?

Although there are a small number of people who genuinely don't care about how they are perceived by others, most people do care to different degrees. The importance of other peoples perception of you is highly dependent on the type of lifestyle you lead, how you want to feel, where you want to go and ultimately how you want to tell your life's story.

However, controlling peoples perceptions of you should be seen as a symbiotic approach. Meaning, your value, and how you fit into their life's story is equally as important as their value is to yours. Being mindful to others' view of you can lead to new opportunities and relationships that may alter your life's course. Think about it, meeting your significant other, getting a new job, being part of the team, or acquiring a new customer are just a few examples. Reciprocally, being mindful of yourself and controlling peoples perception in your favor, builds self-confidence and validation.

On the contrary, maybe you think you are a confident person, but for some reason, relationships don't develop, or opportunities are far and few between? Perhaps you are being perceived as arrogant or insensitive, and if you knew this, you would know how to adjust.

It is important to note that the goal here is not to please everyone, as you never will. The goal if you desire to be liked, either by standing out or fitting in, is to have the confidence in expressing your personality and doing your own thing while being mindful of others and building meaningful relationships.

Below are a few points to consider in influencing other peoples perception of you.

  • Present your story through your appearance well, prepping snap judgments.

  • Be curious about learning and growing within any given surroundings.

  • Ask them “What’s your story?”

  • Be genuinely interested in learning from the other person.

  • Follow through.

  • Listen before speaking.